Self Esteem Activities

Photo by He(Art)Geek

When your self confidence is low it’s often because of learned behavior patterns that have become ingrained in your psyche. This can include negative internal self talk, negative speech and a pessimistic attitude. The best way to kick these habits is to engage in self esteem activities that will replace your old patterns with positive behaviors. We’ll talk about the problem (P) and actions (A).

Try these self esteem activities

P: Negative self talk – People often don’t notice the harsh chatter of their pesky inner voice. Familiarize yourself with the negative things you repeatedly tell yourself. Spend a day monitoring your thoughts to pick up on what issues come up most. You’ll probably see a pattern, an outstanding issue. For the next few days, stay alert to your negative self talk, but when you notice it, replace it with positive thoughts.

A: Let’s say you believe you aren’t smart enough. Get out a sheet of paper and make a big “T” column. Write “Negative Thoughts” in the top left of the “T,” and “Truths” in the top right column. Write the things you regularly think on the left. Now think of times when you have demonstrated intelligence. Write all of these down. Maybe you found a more productive way to get things done at work or picked up on a problem that no one else did – meaning you are productive and perceptive. Using these “truths,” write positive statements to tell yourself when those old negative thoughts crop up.

Photo by Victory of the People

P: Negative speech – Do you often speak poorly of yourself to others? If you often say negative things about your intelligence, looks, body, financial status or self worth, then this one is for you.

A: Go to the bank and get 50 dollar bills. Tell everyone you know that you will give them $1 for every negative thing you say about yourself. This will not only make you very popular :) , but it will make you want to keep your lips sealed. Your goal, of course, is to give away as little money as possible for a duration of two weeks.

P: Pessimistic attitude – If you are a pessimist you probably know it. Either you’re self diagnosed or people have commented on it. The issue with a chronic negative attitude is you tend to not see things as they are but through your filter of pessimism. Any rational thinking mind will see this as problematic. If you are negative about most things, as would define a pessimist, then you are probably funneling negative thoughts toward yourself.

A: Nip your bad attitude in the bud when it comes to everything, not just toward yourself. Train yourself to look for the positive in every single situation. As soon as you find yourself complaining or brooding about something, find a positive aspect (hint: there always is one). The less you see the glass as half empty, the more you will broaden your perspective, which will lift the veil of negativity that surrounds your self image.

These are by no means the only self esteem activities you can use, but they are a great way to start to shift your thoughts toward loving acceptance. I would suggest taking one action at a time, because too much change at once can be overwhelming and hinder your progress.

Self Acceptance: Tips to Change Your Tune

Self acceptance is not an easy thing to come by these days. We are constantly bombarded with media messages that seem to convey to us that we’re not good enough. Models and actresses are impossibly thin, and the grass always seems a little greener in someone else’s lawn.

Self Acceptance Tip One – It’s time to gain some self love by employing of a couple self love techniques. Are you too hard on yourself? Do you think you’re too this or too that, not enough this and not enough that? The first thing to do is stop the negative self talk. For one day every time you think something negative about yourself, make a note of it. Keep a count. You might be surprised at how often you are being too hard on yourself. Make it a point to stop the unkind mental chatter. Choose a key word or phrase that will remind you to shift your thoughts in a positive direction. You could say “next,” “shift,” or “flip it” – whatever – just have a word that triggers you to think positive.

Self Acceptance Tip Two – Now, let’s get real. How many times a day do you think negative things about someone else? Being overly critical of others also leads to self criticism. So learn to refrain from saying or thinking unkind things about others. If you watch TV shows where people are being cut down for how they look or the things they’ve done, change the channel. Don’t hang out with overly critical people either.

Try to focus on the positive things you see in yourself and others, and pretty soon it will become natural. You’ll stop looking for everything that’s wrong about yourself, and you’ll have the kind of self acceptance that you need to feel confident and loving toward yourself.

Spring/Summer Skin Care Tips

It might still be cold in your area of the world, but warmer weather and sunny skies are coming in the days ahead. Take advantage of the good weather, go out and get active. This is a great time to start a walking regimen, something I’ll talk about in detail for tomorrow’s Workout Wednesdays.

However, the topic of this post is not about walking, but how to care for your skin while you are out about getting exercise and trimming down for summer. If you want to stay looking young and lovely for as long as possible, the No. 1 rule is to wear sunscreen. UVA and UVB rays cause splotchy, uneven skin tone, dry the skin, promote collagen degeneration and cause deep wrinkles.

Wearing SPF 15 is good during wintertime, but in the warmer months, wear SPF 55 or higher. You can find moisturizing sunscreens made particularly for the face at any drug store. Put it on before you apply makeup, but allow it a few minutes to dry before applying concealer or foundation. You might also want to cover the backs of your hands, as they also reveal the tale tell signs of aging.

I’ve been wearing sunscreen on my face, neck and decolletage every day since I was 22, and I’d like to believe it’s one of the major factors that has kept me looking youthful up to my 30th birthday (just around the corner).

Reapply sunscreen if you’re going to be in the sun for more than an hour, and for extra protection, bring a wide-brim hat to keep the sun off your face.

But won’t a tan protect my skin?

Despite what many people believe, getting a light “starter” tan will not protect you from skin damage while you sun yourself on future occasions. Any tan caused by UVA/UVB exposure is a sign of skin damage.That includes those tans gotten from sunbeds. They are bad news, people.

If you want to get a tan this summer but want to protect your skin from the aging effects of UVA/UVB, get a spray tan from a professional. It can last up to two weeks. Or go to the drug store and buy a bottle of self-tanning lotion. Be sure to exfoliate well before both of these treatments for best results.

Other youthful skin tips

My other youthful skin tips are to drink plenty of water every day and stay away from caffeine, which dehydrates. The latter is hard for me, as I’m an avid coffee drinker. For each caffeinated drink, consume at least three cups of water additional to your daily requirements. That’s a lot of water!

Finally, and it’s a biggie, stay away from sugar. That’s right, I said it! You’re probably not surprised, but I bet this will surprise you. Sugar not only causes weight gain, something we all know, but it also causes glycation, which damages collagen, elastin and protein fibers that keep skin firm and elastic. The result is wrinkled and sagging skin. Yikes! Think twice next time you reach for your favorite sweet treat.

So to wrap it up, caring for your skin is not only only a way to stay looking youthful longer, it’s a great way to trim the waistline. It’s win-win, really. See ya’ here tomorrow, folks.

UVA and UVB rays cause splotchy, uneven skin tone, dry the skin, promote collagen degeneration and cause deep wrinkles.

Self Love Friday Forum: Luxury Edition

Hi ladies! Happy Friday. So today’s Self Love Friday is a bit different than the previous two. Instead of a video, I wanted to throw out some fun ideas for stuff you can do this weekend to feel luxurious. It’s like a party for one, only lots of fun.

1. Get a massage.

If you’ve been working out this week and you’re sore, treat yourself to a massage. If money is a problem, check out your local massage therapy school to see if they offer massage for the public. Those students have to practice on someone. Or call around and find the best rate. There is an $8 massage studio in my town. Sweet!

2. Make your home luxurious.

That might mean something different to you than it does for me, but I like to have soft rugs underfoot and a soft blankie to curl up with on the couch or in bed while watching mindless TV or catching up on my favorite blogs. You might buy yourself fresh flowers and put them in a prominent place in your home and/or light your favorite candle. Heck, even cleaning your house to perfection will feel luxurious – that is – when you’re done with the cleaning part.

3. Get your hair done.

Get a cut and/ or color to shake up your self-expression a bit. I recently read a post by Gala Darling in which she said something I love, “You always know a girl is about to change her life when she changes her hair.” It’s so true! I’m about to get a new do myself. I’ll post a piccy when I do.

4. Get a manicure/pedicure or do one yourself.

Have you seen the fun nail polish colors in stores lately? There are so many amazing candy colors I have had to restrain myself from buying too many. A mani/pedi fresh coat of nail polish always makes me feel clean and spiffy.

5. Get some sun.

I know the weather is a mixed bag around the country right now, but if there are warm days in the forecast in your area, go out and soak up the sun for up to 15 minutes. You’ll replenish your vitamin D and feel great.

Self Love Friday Forum 2

Let’s talk about weight. When is more than enough too much? And why does it matter? Self love starts with doing what’s best for our bodies and our health.

Self Love Friday Forum: Issue No. 1

Welcome to the first ever Self-Love Friday Forum where I hope to start a dialog about social beauty standards, self-image, confidence, etc. The decision to get fit starts with a little self-love. If you’re lacking in this department or just want to sprinkle a little glitter on your day, watch the video and do the “challenge” given at the end.


Question: What don’t you like about your body (if anything) and why do you think that is? Does it have something to do with social beauty standards or not?

This video, above, offers an interesting and positive take on women’s body types. Have you been called a pear shape? Not anymore, doll!

Question: What do you think of the video? Do you think renaming body types will help to positively alter women’s self-image?

What size is right for you?

This is for all of you who are bummed about society’s beauty standards.